The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. try these out Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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